Surprised /Mixed feelings

I guess I knew some queries. I don't know how. Have I ever live and understand or comprehend things, surroundings, people or the things that people work. I should be able to understand lively, joyfully. One statement of people mentioned one stuff, you could link up to another topics. Probably I were always in my own wonderless souls and world.This lead me to loss behind with the time, Earth, Spaces. It seemed scary at times. However I try to manage to understand as days get by. But why would I feel pain out of a sudden, that I yearn to yell, to scream.It seemed people sometimes I understood me but also like not understand me too. Still I don't need anyone to fully understand me :P
I guess I knew that friendships support were what I needed the most.Too many times, I seek out often for people, not people come to me.Though I had a few, I should appreciated.Do you think I had to go through these hurdles. This made me getting stronger, needed to understand and experiences life.
Some people mentioned that not to have a lot of fortune is good. But to have or to overcome the crucial point with friends. I guess I just hope to group with people.I could find my delight or let the delight find me. I would be happier and attract the right people to come to me. It might not be people in Asia, it could be from Europe, others countries.
Well, These people are trying to say that a group of 18. 10 people bring out the energy level.I had no clue. I suddenly missed a person that I met once, had less than 5 conversations with. Maybe it would be another passer by as I knew i still had a long journey to continue.The journey should began with, my life as a cheerful, a carefree, a person with responsibility, a person could work hard for the futures, a person I would be affected so easily with remarks. Then I could travel overseas backpack on my own.I just wish to have friends that could bring me around. Though I don't have much friends.